Trace the moment, fall forever

In the car..

We talk about life, and love, and things that could have been. I tell her that in the end, I'm just afraid that if I think about her too much, things will go back to the way they used to be, bad. My emotions pour out slowly, hesitantly... things that have been locked away so tight are hard to unearth at a moment's notice.

She begins to cry, silently. Her crystal tears fall softly down her cheek, and they sparkle, in the moonlight. She turns her face away. It seems like a silent eternity in choices at that moment, and in an instant I know that I have made mine, as I reach over to her and gently brush away the tears.

We talk.

Everything that went wrong, and everything that could have been so right. The tears begin to come again, and I can see that they are shaped by regret, remorse, and the touch of new feelings dawning deep within, feelings she never even thought possible.

Again, I brush the tears from her cheek. She's beautiful as ever in this moment. I reach for her, bring her close to me, running my hands through her long, sweet smelling hair. I kiss her hair softly as I whisper to her, and the tears begin to stop. I stare deep into those eyes, those eyes that I have loved for so long, while I brush her hair back from over her face, and over her ears.

We talk.

I know it's wrong but she's in my arms oh god I've longed for this moment all my life it would seem and she can feel my heart my heart beating like a runaway train in my chest and she lays a tiny hand on my heart and I feel like everything is right about this moment and if I could stretch it into eternity I would I would do anything to stay like this like this like this...

Her phone rings.

I brace myself for the hard slap back to reality, the one where she starts, frightened at this sign of the real world waiting outside, and hurries off into the night, leaving me dazed and confused pondering this wonderful mistake.

It never comes.

She answers it, and settles comfortably back into my arms. I can feel her, a comfortable weight in my arms. For this time we are lovers, two sleepy people by dawn's early light... but too much in love to say good night. We hold hands like kids, innocent, pure, beautiful, and in this moment I feel a sense of completion that I've never felt before.

There are times when we come close, and the sensation of desperate longing of my lips for her lips is like sheer electricity in the air. With her last shred of restraint she says no, no. If we do, everything is gone.

I wish. With every beat of my heart I wish this could be so.

And yet we both know that eventually it must be over.

The real world is waiting.

I hold her fiercely to me, one last grasp at the happiness I may never have again, desperate, passionate, hopeless. I smell her scent one last time, breath it, taste it, as I whisper for her to go, go or I may never let you go.

Already, the emptiness begins.